Me and My Boys

I think that a big part of any healthy marriage (but ours especially considering what Denton and I have been through together in the last eleven months) is time together. We took a Twins Parenting Class when I was pregnant and the instructor flat out told us that the divorce rate for parents with multiples is higher than average. As much as that was no fun to talk about in a room full of women pregnant with twins, the instructor's point was that it's something you have to face straight on instead of burying your head in the stand, and it's important to talk about those challenges before the twins get there when you aren't sleep deprived or stressed. We took that advice to heart and basically spent the last four months of my pregnancy doing everything together - our nights out are well documented on my blog. We have kept that mindset since the loss of Madelyn - parents who lose a child are facing the same odds and stressors that parents of multiples do.

So, recognizing that, we try to be intentional about time together as husband and wife apart from time as mommy and daddy. We don't leave Jackson very often, but we do take my parents up on their offers to babysit when they are in town so we can have a night out. Over Christmas while we were visiting them in Seattle, we went out one night and then had a "day date" later in the week downtown. We honestly couldn't remember being out just the two of us in the middle of the day since Jackson came home from the NICU, so the day date felt especially indulgent.

Even having once a month to get out for dinner really recharges us. Most of the time we are home before Jackson's 8:00 bedtime, but out in Seattle and then last Friday when my parents were in town we let them put him to bed and stayed out a little later. My parents love being a part of Jackson's normal routines, so I think it was as much a treat for them as it was for us. I think it will still be awhile before I'm ready to leave Jackson overnight, so we are taking baby steps.

Last week we celebrated Denton's birthday (he is THIRTY NINE - and I'll be 29 in April - next year will be a big birthday year for both of us!). We were too busy enjoying our drinks and dinner to take any pictures, but we started the night at Anvil and then had dinner at Feast. Feast isn't normally a place I would pick to go because the entrees are a little adventurous, but I knew Denton would love it because it was very Anthony Bourdain-ish and he did. I did too - everything was really amazing (the chef is a James Beard nominee) but the dessert was especially wonderful. We were so happy and full by the end of the meal. And happy to come home to our Cheeks, even though he was conked out at that point.

Then I realized yesterday that Jackson and I had never been out to lunch just the two of us. Denton has been working late this week to file for a deadline today, so just Jack and I went to dinner last night, and that's the first time I have done that too. I've been primarily home with Jackson for almost nine months now, and I admit we don't run out that often on the weekdays. We go on walks and errands, and once a week we go to a Mommy and Me music class, but that's about it (with Denton home on the weekends we get out a lot and I'm usually able to do something on my own as well). I'm such a stickler for his routine that he has every bottle or meal at home, and that's worked for us because he does so well on our schedule. So today after I gave him his 12:00 bottle we started a Mommy-Buddy day date. We went out to our first lunch together at a Panera within walking distance. I think I enjoyed eating lunch out more than he did, but he had fun with his Baby Mum Mum rice biscuit.

Then we went back home, did our little 2:00 routine, and went back out to a park that I had found driving around the other day that had baby swings. Jackson LOVES watching older children run around, loves being outside, and we have been enjoying some unseasonably wonderful weather here in Houston. All the makings of a great afternoon at the park.

He was unsure of his first time on swings at first.

But after some gentle pushes and me making excited "Isn't this fun?!" faces he busted out with a huge smile and a baby version of "Wheeeee!"

We had the best day. And now I'm enjoying some other important time - that's ME time - while Jackson naps and I wait for Denton to get home so we can start our relaxing family weekend after a busy two weeks. I love, love, love my boys!